Apologies

Why is it as adults we expect or rather demand apologies from our children yet feel justified in not having to return the apology?

There was a situation the other night where my 12 yr old son made a judgement error and got in trouble for it however after the dust had cleared it was determined that maybe the other party was mistaken in their approach and admitted the same.

After a lengthy discussion my son decided he should apologise.  We both assumed the other person would do the same for their grossly inappropriate reaction to the situation.  Well, you know what happens when you assume.  There was no returned apology and my son called me on it.  All I could say was we just have to let it go.  Is that right?  Should we?  For the moment yes. 

My son is learning valuable life lessons here.

First, that some people even if proven wrong have such a huge ego they are unable to admit their mistake.
Second, not everyone is as nice as they pretend to be.
Third, life is too short and time to valuable to waste on these individuals, (ok that's more a lesson for me than him).
Fourth, no matter what, only your parents really love you for who you are, both parents.

Going forward all I can suggest to him is not to expect an apology, sometimes the remorse is one sided and sometimes the other person is so blind to their own bad behaviour that it's not until it's too late that they realise the value in what they've lost.  Trust is a two way street and it's to be earned not demanded, respect is the same, you can not demand respect from someone if you are not willing to give it in return.

That's, how I see it.
Tammy.