I'm A Crusader, Damn It!

I've been giving some brain time to this and well, it's time to dump it.

I've always seen myself as a peace keeper of sorts.  The one who apologises first, the one who bites their tongue damn near off to avoid conflict.  The one who tries and sometimes fails to love unconditionally.  Yet I'm not always viewed that way.

Sometimes I'm seen as spiteful or bitter or vengeful and when I think about it, sure I can be all that too.  I'm a complex individual.  I'm a crusader.

What do I mean by this?  Well, I'll tell you.

I am a compassionate person, BUT when I see or hear of an injustice done to an innocent soul the armour goes on, the sword comes out and a battle may in sue...that is if all else fails.  If turning the other cheek or biting my tongue or apologising falls on deaf ears, those ears are going to hear about it.  I'm a defender, and damn you who think that makes me a fraud.

If you were in a situation that required someone to stand up for you, wouldn't you want someone like me to step in front of you and protect you?  Would that not be welcomed?  Not understood and appreciated?  Of course the person on the other end of my sword would rather not be.  And maybe that's where my question stems from.

What do I care what an evil vile toxic individual thinks of me.  They are the reason the sword came out in the first place.  Of course they will see me as something other that what I present.  They provoked the crusader in me and well, that's what they got.

Sometimes, blogging helps me make sense of my silly thoughts.  This one in particular has brought to my attention an understanding much deeper than I expected.  For that I am thankful and I realise that being a crusader IS part of who I am.  I am a compassionate, caring, loving defender of the less fortunate!  Beware you evil beings, you will have a fight on your hands if you cross me.

That's, how I see it.
Tammy.